All Right I'm back. Plenty of things have been happening, I went home, Seattle to meet my family, my mother, brothers, grandparents, uncle, aunts, cousins... very crowded, happy, tense, sad sometimes. Watching my grandparents, the feeling of being old beats me to death, depression, not having much to do, not being much able to do. Do they ever think about death? How do they see it?
I don't know! I don't want to think about it. I wish it never happens.
My brother got me into watching Sopranos! We talk about it all the times. My aunt is tired of the uniform rate of life. My uncle is too busy doing investments and making money. My mother is worried about her family and what is going to happen to us later, If we are gonna get married, find a nice job, make money.
I'm back here in north Jersey speding time with the people I usually spend time with, my boyfriend, officemates, friends, Professors and students. I guess I like to say life sucks without having a reason.
I'm watching Sopranos every night. It's fantastic now that I've been living here for 3 years, I know a lot about Jersey, people's habbits, the towns, NJ Turnpike... Lots of things make complete sense.
It makes me disappointed. I like Tony Soprano, he tries very hard to make good decisions in hid own world. He is trying in his won way to be good. I like the way he holds on to life though. I like it when he curses. When he says "Jesus Fucking Christ...".

One of my good friends is having is having trouble with her marriage. They've been married for 7 years, were in love when they got married, eachother's first love. She is really good in whatever she does, talented, he is smart, cool, I always enjoyed watching them together.
I guess they are gonna get divorced soon. Her eyes say she wants to talk but there is nothing to say. Besides what do I know? I haven't been married to my first love! When we see eachother we act! " Oh, hi..., very nice to see you" with a fake smile! But I know she has a big pain deep down and she knows the next couple of month would be very hard for her to keep up or maybe she doesn't know yet! Nobody has broken her heart.
Most of my friends have found jobs this semester ,most of them in New York City. They wake up, wear nice cloths, have a cup of coffe while walking to the train and go to work everyday, and probably make some money.
Life seems to pass easier that way. And I'm back to the same room working and thinking and thinking.... Playing a mind game. Trying to solve my thesis peoblem.
Summer is almost over, so no more colory cloths and cute shoes and Jersey girls going to the beach.
Let's see, maybe I'll tell you more about people around me.